JOKES

Anything at all goes here. Keep it clean.
User avatar
desert_woodworker
Posts: 1514
Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2017 12:20 am
Location: Southern Arizona desert, USA

Re: JOKES

Post by desert_woodworker » Tue Apr 30, 2019 8:54 pm

Do Zen masters commiserate with each other?

If so, maybe we'd hear this:

One Zen master to the other: "I tell you Jojo, if it's not ONE Thing, it's Nuthin'!"

User avatar
Larry
Posts: 852
Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2017 8:17 am

Re: JOKES

Post by Larry » Tue Apr 30, 2019 9:55 pm

:lol:

But surely the masters were Fufu & Lala....not Jojo :P :lol:

User avatar
Larry
Posts: 852
Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2017 8:17 am

Re: JOKES

Post by Larry » Tue Apr 30, 2019 10:08 pm

fuki wrote:
Tue Apr 30, 2019 9:53 am
Like it says on the saté sauce instructions, "stir until a homogenetic whole"
and please don't add any superfluous ingredients to the sauce, unless it's a pinch of Hindu :lol:
:lol:

I refuse to comment on the homogenetic whole :lol:

It might tempt a saucy pinch of bottom :lol:

User avatar
desert_woodworker
Posts: 1514
Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2017 12:20 am
Location: Southern Arizona desert, USA

Re: JOKES

Post by desert_woodworker » Tue Apr 30, 2019 11:14 pm

Larry wrote:
Tue Apr 30, 2019 9:55 pm
:lol:

But surely the masters were Fufu & Lala....not Jojo :P :lol:
Fifi and Lulu?

--Joe

User avatar
fuki
Posts: 2493
Joined: Fri Dec 01, 2017 12:02 am
Location: Zandvoort, The Netherlands

Re: JOKES

Post by fuki » Tue Apr 30, 2019 11:32 pm

Larry wrote:
Tue Apr 30, 2019 10:08 pm

I refuse to comment on the homogenetic whole :lol:

It might tempt a saucy pinch of bottom :lol:
salty bucket sauce.jpg
salty bucket sauce.jpg (49.52 KiB) Viewed 765 times
:mrgreen:
meldpunt seksueel misbruik in boeddhistische gemeenschappen.
https://meldpuntbg.nl/

IZIhttp://www.zeninstitute.org/en/iziae/main.html

User avatar
fuki
Posts: 2493
Joined: Fri Dec 01, 2017 12:02 am
Location: Zandvoort, The Netherlands

Re: JOKES

Post by fuki » Tue Apr 30, 2019 11:33 pm

desert_woodworker wrote:
Tue Apr 30, 2019 11:14 pm
Larry wrote:
Tue Apr 30, 2019 9:55 pm
:lol:

But surely the masters were Fufu & Lala....not Jojo :P :lol:
Fifi and Lulu?

--Joe
324a0ecf211013e508b69d870f96d8da.jpg
324a0ecf211013e508b69d870f96d8da.jpg (21.7 KiB) Viewed 764 times
meldpunt seksueel misbruik in boeddhistische gemeenschappen.
https://meldpuntbg.nl/

IZIhttp://www.zeninstitute.org/en/iziae/main.html

User avatar
desert_woodworker
Posts: 1514
Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2017 12:20 am
Location: Southern Arizona desert, USA

Re: JOKES

Post by desert_woodworker » Wed May 01, 2019 12:05 am

Happy New Month, soon.

Fuki, I think it may be May Day there for you right now! (in the best sense). Zero hours UTC, or beyond? You're somewhat East of Greenwich. And maybe Summertime / Daylight Savings time is in effect? Good night, --Joe

User avatar
Larry
Posts: 852
Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2017 8:17 am

Re: JOKES

Post by Larry » Wed May 01, 2019 9:40 am

desert_woodworker wrote:
Tue Apr 30, 2019 11:14 pm
Fifi and Lulu?
:lol:

Different lineage. But sadly erased from history :lol:

User avatar
desert_woodworker
Posts: 1514
Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2017 12:20 am
Location: Southern Arizona desert, USA

Re: JOKES

Post by desert_woodworker » Wed May 01, 2019 2:49 pm

Larry wrote:
Wed May 01, 2019 9:40 am
desert_woodworker wrote:
Tue Apr 30, 2019 11:14 pm
Fifi and Lulu?
:lol:

Different lineage. But sadly erased from history :lol:
Larry, yes; alas! (or, two lasses) ;)

User avatar
fuki
Posts: 2493
Joined: Fri Dec 01, 2017 12:02 am
Location: Zandvoort, The Netherlands

Re: JOKES

Post by fuki » Wed May 01, 2019 3:53 pm

desert_woodworker wrote:
Wed May 01, 2019 12:05 am
Happy New Month, soon.

Fuki, I think it may be May Day there for you right now! (in the best sense). Zero hours UTC, or beyond? You're somewhat East of Greenwich. And maybe Summertime / Daylight Savings time is in effect? Good night, --Joe
Joe, happy new month to you too!

Yes, I don't know how many time zones the US has (less then Russia I figure) but as a kid I always remembered that CET (dutchy) was +8 hours from your east cost and +9 hours from your west coast, so I always know the time in NYC or LA, don't know if there's something in between or beyond of those two coasts but I suspect Arizona has the west coast time zone?

Happy May indeed, May All be well.
meldpunt seksueel misbruik in boeddhistische gemeenschappen.
https://meldpuntbg.nl/

IZIhttp://www.zeninstitute.org/en/iziae/main.html

User avatar
desert_woodworker
Posts: 1514
Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2017 12:20 am
Location: Southern Arizona desert, USA

Re: JOKES

Post by desert_woodworker » Wed May 01, 2019 4:48 pm

Marcel,

May all be well!, yes, thanks, Fuki.

Ordinarily, USA has four time zones in the continental 48 or "lower-48" states, but "we" extend to Hawai'i and to Alaska also, since 1959 for both, although these had for long also been formally "Territories".

In addition, there are still remaining territories, besides, such as Puerto Rico (actually a Commonwealth); Guam; U.S. Virgin Islands; American Samoa; and the Northern Mariana Islands (a Commonwealth, also, like Puerto Rico). I get to talk to all of them as an amateur radio operator, and exchange QSL cards by snail-mail to confirm the contacts (there's that word "confirm" again, as in the confirming or dis-confirming Awakening, or of the disconfirming of candidate Scientific Theories).

There are divisions or categories of political arrangement or affiliation formalized with the USA as the following: Commonwealth; Organized Territory; Unorganized Territory; plus, Incorporated Territory; and, Unincorporated Territory (hmm, maybe just to be a "state" would be easier? ;) ).

Coming back to the lower 48 states, the time zones are Eastern, Central, Mountain, and Pacific. Each differs by one full hour, about 15 degrees of West Longitude. Now, each of these four time zones admits of two types of status, depending on the calendar: Standard Time (ST), or Daylight-Savings Time (DT).

TWO of our states do NOT use Daylight Savings Time at all, anywhere within their boundaries/borders: these are Arizona, and Hawai'i.

(in Arizona, we get ENOUGH sunlight, and don't need to save it up ;) ; except in storage-batteries charged by solar panels) :)

Eastern thus has Eastern Standard Time, and in warm months, Eastern Daylight Savings Time (Eastern Daylight Time), thus, "EST", and "EDT".
EST = UTC minus 5. (UTC-5).
Central thus has CST and CDT. CST = UTC-6
Mountain has MST and MDT. MST = UTC-7
Pacific has PST and PDT. PST = UTC-8

For Daylight Savings Time, each formula has another positive hour added to UTC (so, PDT= UTC-8+1, say, or just UTC-7).

As Arizona does not use Daylight Time, when Pacific Time areas are on Daylight Time, our time in Arizona (UTC-7) is the same as in California, Oregon, and Washington states.

Hawai'i is always on Standard Time too, as UTC-10 (pretty far West, in just about the middle of the Pacific Ocean; good seafood).

Huge Alaska (AK) once used four time zones, but now uses just two. Most (98%) of AK's population lives in the Yukon Time Zone, which is UTC-9.

Clyde -- in California -- and yours truly -- in Arizona -- are both now on the same time, now, since he started PDT, there. It's about 9:45 AM now (hi, Clyde!). He's on PDT; and I'm on MST, ...with the Standard Mountains standing all about us here in the desert.

Let's see, now, what was your question? :D

(else, this would be off-topic in this "Jokes" thread... )

Wind your watch, (gee, it's been a while, here; disk batteries last a long "time"),

Sweet mind,

--Joe

User avatar
Larry
Posts: 852
Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2017 8:17 am

Re: JOKES

Post by Larry » Wed May 01, 2019 5:35 pm

It's the way you tell them :D

User avatar
fuki
Posts: 2493
Joined: Fri Dec 01, 2017 12:02 am
Location: Zandvoort, The Netherlands

Re: JOKES

Post by fuki » Wed May 01, 2019 6:11 pm

Larry wrote:
Wed May 01, 2019 5:35 pm
It's the way you tell them :D
:lol:

Actually there is so much humour in Joe's regular posting, I sometimes wonder if I am the only One who catches it, gesundheit! Anyways, thanks Joe, I enjoyed reading that first hand report, I won't travel the USA to confirm it -
I trust you on your word :)
meldpunt seksueel misbruik in boeddhistische gemeenschappen.
https://meldpuntbg.nl/

IZIhttp://www.zeninstitute.org/en/iziae/main.html

User avatar
Larry
Posts: 852
Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2017 8:17 am

Re: JOKES

Post by Larry » Wed May 01, 2019 6:52 pm

fuki wrote:
Wed May 01, 2019 6:11 pm
Actually there is so much humour in Joe's regular posting
I agree. I was actually just revisiting the thread to delete my comment. It felt like a joke too far, after all the flack poor old Joe has received this past week or so.

Four of the last five comments in the Jokes thread have been far too serious. Major breach of TOS. We'll all be banned :lol:

User avatar
fuki
Posts: 2493
Joined: Fri Dec 01, 2017 12:02 am
Location: Zandvoort, The Netherlands

Re: JOKES

Post by fuki » Wed May 01, 2019 7:04 pm

:lol:

Larry lolbroek! :lol:
[SPOILER]
lolbroek=funnypants grapjas=jokejacket
While you were doing that Larry, I was looking for the lost bird in the enso, after reading your Suzuki quote in the wisdom thread, I figured that would be a great bottom-liner! :D

ps lost as in can't find the picture anymore, not a lost bird :cat: larry
meldpunt seksueel misbruik in boeddhistische gemeenschappen.
https://meldpuntbg.nl/

IZIhttp://www.zeninstitute.org/en/iziae/main.html

User avatar
Larry
Posts: 852
Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2017 8:17 am

Re: JOKES

Post by Larry » Wed May 01, 2019 7:51 pm

fuki wrote:
Wed May 01, 2019 7:04 pm
I figured that would be a great bottom-liner! :D
:lol:

I'll stick to the baking paper :lol:

User avatar
Larry
Posts: 852
Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2017 8:17 am

Re: JOKES

Post by Larry » Wed May 01, 2019 8:04 pm

Breaking news from the BBC....Honest....

"Scientists have found evidence that an ancient species of human called Denisovans lived at high altitudes in Tibet."

Denis Ovens :lol:

User avatar
fuki
Posts: 2493
Joined: Fri Dec 01, 2017 12:02 am
Location: Zandvoort, The Netherlands

Re: JOKES

Post by fuki » Wed May 01, 2019 9:08 pm

Larry wrote:
Wed May 01, 2019 8:04 pm
BBC
:lol:

Baking
Buddha
Cookies
download (1).jpg
download (1).jpg (6.78 KiB) Viewed 688 times
Reminds me of a koan, but this is the jokes thread, and people take koans much too serious
So I'm pulling out :lol:
meldpunt seksueel misbruik in boeddhistische gemeenschappen.
https://meldpuntbg.nl/

IZIhttp://www.zeninstitute.org/en/iziae/main.html

User avatar
desert_woodworker
Posts: 1514
Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2017 12:20 am
Location: Southern Arizona desert, USA

Re: JOKES

Post by desert_woodworker » Wed May 01, 2019 10:04 pm

fuki wrote:
Wed May 01, 2019 9:08 pm
Reminds me of a koan, but this is the jokes thread, and people take koans much too serious
Naturally. The time to laugh about them is later! Then, you can really laugh. No yoke!

--Joe

User avatar
Spike
Posts: 324
Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:35 am

Re: JOKES

Post by Spike » Thu May 02, 2019 1:03 am

desert_woodworker wrote:
Wed May 01, 2019 10:04 pm
fuki wrote:
Wed May 01, 2019 9:08 pm
Reminds me of a koan, but this is the jokes thread, and people take koans much too serious
Naturally. The time to laugh about them is later! Then, you can really laugh. No yoke!

--Joe
Yes, some people no doubt take their koan practice differently than you take your non-koan practice. Let's see your koan. I'm sure we all could use a good laugh!

Post Reply